Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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