I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
