I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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