I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
