we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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