The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
