so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
