And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
