yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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