He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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