i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
