no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
