i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
