P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
