You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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