when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
