You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
