and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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