I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
