Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
