dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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