So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
