you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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