The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
