Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
