The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
