shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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