they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I love you.
Bad choice
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