I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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