Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
