Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
