you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
