I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
