there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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