Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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