You just made me feel so damn special
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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