actually, I'm a sock model
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
