Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
