you guys were way drunker than both of me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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