If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize