Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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