Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
