I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Randomize
