I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
