Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
bring money and cleavage
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
