I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
