I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
