Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
