Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
