Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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